You’ve heard of a time machine, but I swear there’s a bullet-time train, too. The original ROG Ally still feels like it launched last week, yet it was actually two years ago. There was no Ally 2, no in-between “Pro” model, no nothing. Instead, ASUS teamed up with Microsoft and created the ROG Xbox Ally Series. It’s kind of an offshoot and a next-gen successor, all at the same time. Don’t think too hard about it.
What matters is this: the new design finally feels like a handheld console instead of a very enthusiastic tablet (read: a slab of thing). ASUS ditched the “rectangular slab with thumbsticks” look and leaned into full controller ergonomics. The result is something you can hold for hours without your fingers going numb and sending HR complaints to your brain.
A comfy grip is great, but it needs stamina to match. Thankfully, the new 60 Wh battery gives the Ally enough juice to actually survive a cross-country flight instead of tapping out mid-cutscene. And the weight balance is miles better. At around 670g, you will not feel like you are playing a game called “Workout” instead of Call of Duty.
Performance gets a lift, too. The AMD Ryzen Z2 A processor keeps everything humming along nicely, pushing pixels fast enough to make the 120 Hz display feel like it’s living its best life. With 16 GB of LPDDR5 RAM and a 512 GB PCIe SSD (expandable up to 2 TB via microSD), you can run your entire backlog — including the games you lie about finishing.
Boot it up, and it jumps straight into the Xbox experience. Not “Xbox-inspired,” not “Xbox-adjacent,” but genuinely Xbox. Xbox Game Bar, Xbox Play Anywhere syncing, full Windows 11 access, and three months of Xbox Game Pass Premium baked in. Your Steam, Epic, GOG, and Battle.net libraries are all fair game, too.
The 7-inch FHD touchscreen is gorgeous: 500 nits, Gorilla Glass Victus + DXC, FreeSync Premium, and 120 Hz. Basically, your TV shrank itself to be more portable than your dignity after rage-quitting Tekken.
I/O is surprisingly generous for a handheld: dual USB-C ports (both display-capable), a UHS-II microSD slot, a headphone jack, assignable rear buttons, Hall Effect triggers, full-size sticks, Dolby Atmos speakers, HD haptics, gyro, and even a fingerprint sensor. Basically, everything except a cupholder.
Fast charging? Obviously, duh. In fact, this big guy goes from 0 to 50% in 30 minutes, so you will have a short downtime, which is bad news for your work. Boss won’t like it. I swear.
The ROG Xbox Ally Series starts at US$599.99, which is surprisingly sensible for something that wants to be your Xbox, your PC, your portable therapy device, and your excuse to miss deadlines.
Images: ASUS ROG.
